Emily Nakeff

Stag Special

Grateful — this is the word Monica Bobbitt chooses to describe the last nine years of her life.

It might surprise you to learn that nine years ago, Bobbitt became a widow after her husband, then 2RCHA CO, died suddenly in a tragic military training accident at CFB Wainwright, Alberta.

She shared her story as a guest speaker during an International Women’s Day event held at CFB Borden, Ont.

Today, Bobbitt focuses more on staying active and speaks virtually and in-person to military groups and families to shed light on grief in the military context. She’s a different person than the woman her husband knew, but a version of herself she knows he would be proud of.

“Life is a series of transitions, and at each one we have to redefine ourselves,” she said. “Who am I now? Who do I want to be?”

For Bobbitt, transition is just another word for opportunity. And grabbing onto those opportunities can help you live life to the fullest.

“You don’t need to make massive life changes in order to thrive … you can start today. Small, concerted efforts can help you thrive.”

Bobbitt shared these tips:

• Be careful with the language you use — words are powerful in transforming a negative mindset into a positive one.

• Practice gratitude – start each day writing down three things you are grateful for.

• Spend time in nature – just 15 minutes outside can have a positive impact on your mood.

• Give back – become a volunteer for a cause that is important to you.

• Take time to laugh – even when it seems impossible.

“Embrace the opportunities that those transitions offer you, but don’t wait for them. Don’t make the same mistake I did,” she offered. “Don’t wait until something catastrophic happens to choose to live the best life you possibly can. You can’t wait to live your best life or to be the best version of you.

“You can’t wait for the next posting, or for the deployment to end, or for the kids to start school, or for them to leave for university, or for your spouse to retire. Don’t wait for the perfect time, because guess what? There is no perfect time.”

Learn more about Bobbitt’s journey on her blog, A Goat Rodeo http://www.agoatrodeo.com/p/about-me.html

Monica Bobbitt lost her husband in a military training accident in 2014. She now shares her experience to help Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) leadership and families understand military grief, a topic which is still not widely discussed. Photo Emily Nakeff/Borden Citizen